Twofoot has died

Posted by
Exhalev [legacy]
Uploaded
14 July 2009 00:00:00
Type
Player Kill

Future GM of the Meglivornth finally falls to the forces of Gor Burzgoth. Congratulations on the GMship, and kudos for excellent leadership so far Twofoot. A profitable, peaceful future awaits our guilds. P.S. Storm bow + dark arrows = decision-maker

Comments

  • Author
    Myrddin [legacy]
    At
    20 July 2009 11:39:02

    I pointed out that horrible death emote thousands of logs ago.

  • Author
    Ketan [legacy]
    At
    19 July 2009 00:30:00

    Despite the fact that we've both felt the need to post 8 paragraphs in this comment thread, it's not meant to be a competition. :P

    Starting out by quoting Dr. Seuss is an auto-win anyway. I wouldn't try standing toe to toe with that.

  • Author
    Winnetou [legacy]
    At
    19 July 2009 00:25:10

    Ketan's much funnier than Tire

  • Author
    Norin [legacy]
    At
    18 July 2009 12:53:00

    That was hot Ketan.

  • Author
    Dawn [legacy]
    At
    18 July 2009 10:39:28

    That is nice Ketan. I will at once make an idea report to that being the standard kill emote for all weapons. replacing the standard You killed X.

  • Author
    Tevildo [legacy]
    At
    18 July 2009 08:07:53

    Eh. It's better than Gwathlomacil's.

  • Author
    Sunflash [legacy]
    At
    18 July 2009 07:51:56

    I demand a weapon with that kill emote. Now.

  • Author
    Lobo [legacy]
    At
    18 July 2009 07:39:39

    I bet carver wrote that.

  • Author
    Ketan [legacy]
    At
    18 July 2009 07:35:08

    I don't think anyone's all that amused by the one grammatical error. But jesus, that kill emote is a little over the top. :P

    'Sensing that his victim's strength is failing, Cruice strikes with lightning-quick speed and slices the tendon just below the back of Twofoot's left knee. As Twofoot falls to the ground screaming in agony, Cruice sings in an impressive falsetto, echoing each cry of pain with startling accuracy. He tears off a piece of his shirt and uses it to fashion a bandage for Twofoot's gushing leg wound. He stands up, gives Twofoot a stern look, and then runs off into the distance.

    Cruice returns with a canteen full of water, which he takes a sip from before leaning over to pour some on Twofoot's leg. Cruice spends the next ten minutes cleaning Twofoot's wound. When he's satisfied, he pulls a long piece of rope out of his pack and uses it to tie Twofoot to a nearby tree. He leaves again.

    Hours later, Cruice returns, dragging the corpse of a wild boar behind him. He gathers wood for a fire and, with the aid of his camping gear, gets a roaring blaze started. He cooks the boar, making sure heat it enough to kill off any lingering bacteria or other harmful parasites. He cuts off a piece and feeds it to Twofoot, who accepts it willingly. Twofoot is obviously very hungry. After they eat, Twofoot and Cruice fall asleep.

    The next morning, Cruice wakes up and finds a tree to chop down. He chips away at the base of the tree, eventually bringing its great weight thundering to the ground. Twofoot hears the noise in the distance and wonders what his captor could be up to. Cruice takes out a knife and begins slowly carving pieces off of the tree.

    For weeks, the two engage in the same ritual: Twofoot stays tied to a tree, and Cruice disappears for hours on end. Cruice comes back briefly to feed Twofoot, but always leaves shortly thereafter to continue his whittling. After what seems like an eternity of the same daily routine, one day Cruice returns with the fruit of his labor: a wooden replica of the 18th century Andrew Dickson long-nosed putter, the most expensive golf club ever sold on auction. He also produces a finely crafted head-sized golf tee, which he pushes into the ground with his foot...nay, with both of his feet. Twofoot does not seem to appreciate Cruice's sense of humor.

    Cruice unties his captive and pins him to the ground with a set of wooden stakes and some rope, keeping Twofoot's head centered atop the golf tee. Cruice checks the wind conditions, and then takes a few practice swings that barely stop short of Twofoot's head. 'Gotcha!' he snickers, as Twofoot flinches for the eighth time.

    With a sudden burst of superhuman speed, Cruice swings the golf club in a dEvAsTaTiNG arc, cleanly SEPARATING Twofoot's HEAD from his BODY, sending the dismembered noggin sailing through the air in a GLORIOUS display of _C_A_R_N_A_G_E!!!

    The head lands off in the distance, and is immediately picked apart by vultures.

    Twofoot has died.'

    Feel free to copy/paste for the next guild weapon you make.

  • Author
    Shabba [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 07:30:24

    Yeah.. hindi. Not really worth it

  • Author
    Jubal [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 07:27:00

    hahaha I was asking if you got the girl already :P

  • Author
    Shabba [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 07:18:47

    I don't speak that much yet Jubal :P but uhm... hindi mabuti?

    All in good time

  • Author
    Zaellyer [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 06:28:20

    do panic, run do gh?

  • Author
    Jubal [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:59:03

    Shabba kayo na ba ng crush mo?

  • Author
    Pounder [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:36:57

    Hahaha, i couldn't resist.

  • Author
    Kelos [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:35:57

    Pounder beat me to it :)

  • Author
    Shabba [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:32:45

    I really don't want to believe some people are so stupid they don't know how to register a goddamn account.

  • Author
    Jubal [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:29:17

    Post it Kel :P wahahah

  • Author
    Kelos [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:28:40

    Classic Tireless, I think we need to make a log post with just his log comment in it :)

  • Author
    Jubal [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:17:30

    Tireless do you get this from people too?

    'Ahmz lulz how 2 post nu logzorz pls kthxbie!!! @@X%&#r*ofl*! '

    Hahahaha

  • Author
    Jubal [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:15:13

    Data will be sent from the server in New York through the internet by various electronic means onto my computer, which will then interpret that signal and make characters on my screen. Those symbols on my screen will go in through my eye-holes through the optic nerve into my brain where I'll translate them into the idea that I should verify your account.

    ======================================================================

    Q:

    A:

    The device you're shouting at is called a 'Keyboard', and to make it work you have to 'type' on it. That's where you use your fingers and you push down on the little buttons on the top to make words.

    ======================================================================

    ------------ <3 <3 <3 Someone really made Tireless 'tired'...

  • Author
    Xaron [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 04:00:20

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH wow, funniest logpage comment ever.

    Love you Tireless.

    Hahahahahah!

  • Author
    Tireless [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 03:55:26

    Since people seem to be lurking on the logpage without registering, and the same people seem to be entirely incapable of reading very simple instructions (or applying the slightest modicum of problem solving ability towards the problem of getting an account), I'm going to say this here:

    I do not make accounts.

    I do not make them in a box.

    I do not make them with a fox.

    I do not make them on a train.

    I do not make them in the rain.

    I do not make them here or there.

    I do not make them ANYWHERE.

    I am a moderator and I VERIFY accounts _once you have created them._

    The process by which one makes an account is rather complex, so I'll post a walk-through here.

    You click on the link on the home page labeled 'Register new user'. I know the link name is misleading, but that's what we have to work with. Once you click on the link you follow the instructions.

    In the box next to the word 'User name', you put in the name of your character for whom you'd like to make an account. That part is tricky, but if you keep at it I'm sure you can do it.

    The two following boxes are for your password. We ask you to type it in (And this is the SAME PASSWORD both times! This is important) twice so you don't make a typo which prevents you from logging on to your account.

    Next to the word e-mail address, put in your e-mail address. Most e-mail addresses follow the following form: yourname@yourprovider.com, yourname@yourprovider.ca, yourname@yourprovider.co.uk, or the like.

    Next to the box that says 'Real name', you put the name that your mother would call you. If your character name is BigMac and your mother would call you 'Billy Joe', you put Billy Joe here.

    When the form is filled out you click the 'Submit data' button. This means that the stuff on the form gets submitted to the logpage, and your account has been created! Whew, that was hard work! But you're not done yet.

    Now that you've created your account, you log on to towers. You can do this by going to t2tmud.org/connect.html and clicking on either the telnet or java button, then you type in your username and password (this password might be different than your logpage password, be careful!). From there, send a mudmail to me, Tireless, by going to a mail room and typing 'mail tireless'. In the mail, say that you would like your logpage account verified.

    When I next check my mail (which is usually 1-2 days but very rarely more than a week apart) I'll see the mail. Data will be sent from the server in New York through the internet by various electronic means onto my computer, which will then interpret that signal and make characters on my screen. Those symbols on my screen will go in through my eye-holes through the optic nerve into my brain where I'll translate them into the idea that I should verify your account. I'll then access your account and click 'verify', after which you'll have a fully functional logpage account.

    FAQ:

    Q:

    That's too complicated. Can you make an account for me?

    A:

    No. Go fuck yourself.

    Q:

    What's my password?

    A:

    I don't know. Probably 1 2 3 4 5, if it's the same as what you've got on your luggage.

    Q:

    I tried 1 2 3 4 5 and it didn't work.

    A:

    Stop reading the logpage, watch Space Balls, then kill yourself.

    Q:

    I mailed you half an hour ago and my account still isn't active!

    A:

    As I am omniscient, I saw what you were doing in your sister's room last night and I am disgusted. I'm withholding access to the logpage from you as punishment for your sins.

    Q:

    lulz how 2 mak log a count plzkthx?!!!?1/1!/1?!1@!@

    A:

    I will cut you.

    Q:

    I don't see the link on the main page.

    A:

    Hold your hands out in front of you, palms facing away, fingers outstretched. Looking at your thumb and pointer finger, which one makes an L? That is your left hand. L for left. When you pee, which direction does it go? That is down, also called the bottom direction. Now, on the main logpage (logs.dyndns.dk) look on the bottom... left... corner near the words 'Other Stuff'. If you don't see it, consult Gramul regarding obtaining his screen reader.

    Q:

    I made the account name LOLUSUX and you didn't verify it, what gives?!

    A:

    You have to have a character on the MUD with the same name as your account here. If you're unable to make the character name you want on the mud, heap your abuse on Melkor. He's a very patient, understanding guy when it comes to players disrespecting the staff and he'll take care of you.

    Q:

    You fucking fag, why didn't ur gay ass activate my account you homogay faggotshit?

    A:

    Because I'm really, really not impressed by people spewing sexual orientation slurs all over the place, and I am out to get you.

    Q:

    A:

    The device you're shouting at is called a 'Keyboard', and to make it work you have to 'type' on it. That's where you use your fingers and you push down on the little buttons on the top to make words.

    Q:

    Why u so mad?

    A:

    God, I hate you all.

  • Author
    Pounder [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 03:06:09

    Sorry, Hi Mr. Jubal.

  • Author
    Pounder [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 03:05:30

    Hey Jubal :)

    'your feeble mind could ever contrive', I am floored by the amazing insult and intelligence you put into it. I am very sad, will never know how to recover from it especially knowing it came from a GM who might as well put LULZ in the emote because it was written that bad. My picture of nasira in my description was far better written than that garbage of an emote. :P

  • Author
    Jubal [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 03:00:33

    Hielo Mr Pounder! How have you been?

  • Author
    Exhalev [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 02:26:43

    Omg a GM-edit mistake! All things considered, it's funny how the emote is still better written than anything your feeble mind could ever contrive Mr. Pounder.

  • Author
    Pounder [legacy]
    At
    15 July 2009 02:16:48

    Hahhahaahah, weapon emote phail. Hahahahah. Where is Lobo to rate that weapon for god sakes, I wonder what type of person would make that emote! Hahahaha, shit, way too hilarious.

  • Author
    Demandred [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 23:36:41

    Peace.. You don't deserve it.

  • Author
    Manni [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 20:52:37

    Yeah guild weapons aren't really QCed... Especially those pronouns. It's a pain in the ass to QC those on standard public-area weapons.

  • Author
    Akhazir [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 20:11:12

    Sounds more like they just tried a little too hard with the emotes. What does that have to do with being all about RP?

  • Author
    Mirnac [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 18:01:17

    lol, and they are all about the RP

  • Author
    Ural [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 17:47:54

    Cruice was using the GB guildweapon.

  • Author
    Kelos [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 17:28:33

    Ugh

  • Author
    Mirnac [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 12:04:00

    Is it a guild wep or what is it?

  • Author
    Thoros [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 11:48:13

    A pregnant moment is a BAD moment!

  • Author
    Sunflash [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 11:37:43

    How has it gone this long without a player bug reporting it? Wtf.

  • Author
    Tevildo [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 11:25:12

    That sword being used vs. Carforgoth would be the most mind-breakingly stupid log of all time.

  • Author
    Jubal [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 10:58:01

    Ouch @Exhalev w/ Stormbow 0.0

  • Author
    Shabba [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 10:33:44

    How did that make it past QC :P

  • Author
    Shabba [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 10:33:34

    God, what a horrible death emote

  • Author
    Mirnac [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 09:23:06

    Cruice splays blood in a graceful arc as he swings the blade past Twofoot. What weapon is this?

  • Author
    Shardik [legacy]
    At
    14 July 2009 08:37:02

    The death emote made this log a 6.